I feel that I am a very fortunate person. I have a great family, a nice house, wonderful friends and even a fantastic job. Though every now and again, I begin to feel tugged between work and home.
I know a lot of stay at home mom's couldn't even think about being a working mom, but I have to admit, I am a better mother because of it. For me (I'm not talking for anyone else - just strictly me,) when I work, I don't take the time I have with my children for granted. Normally, it's packed pretty good with activities, i.e. last night's "Family Game Night."
And my job, I am so lucky. I love what I do. I get to combine my passion of helping others with writing, communicating and meeting people. If I am going to be away from my children, working where I do is the place, but lately it has been hard... Here is why..
Tyler starts 1st grade August 9th, where did the time go?
Joshua will be one in 2 1/2 months. Again, where did the time go?
Tyler is having severe anxiety...Go see the counselor next week.
Joshua is having severe separation anxiety.
How about the daycare trauma (3 boys ganged up on Ty,) the new infant room daycare teachers, new school orientation, back pack shopping, new clothes shopping, hair cuts, doctors.....and the list goes on and on.
Some days, I just don't know which way to go first. Both are important responsibilities. Though, I do have to admit my supervisor does always reiterate...FAMILY FIRST (and actually means it.) I guess I will just take tings as they come, one day at a time.
2 comments:
I struggle with this, too. Lately, I've found some comfort in a book I found called "The Mommy Wars." It's a collection essay with the general lesson that being a good mommy means doing what's best for your family *whatever that means to you and no one else* I think your boys will grow up inspired by someone as passionate about your job as you are.
Hi,
Thank you for the comment on my blog. I am so glad to find yours, I am also working with two kids, I know it is not easy. As a matter of fact, I often describe myself "struggling" in life.
Speaking of separation anxiety, I want to share with you some of my experience.
My daughter, who is 4 yr old now, started daycare when she was only 10 months old. We did not know back then that it was the worst time to send a child away (peak time for separation anxiety), and she had a hard time at drop-offs for a long time. It was heart-breaking for me as a new mom. Therefore, I talked a lot with other parents, teachers, and read a lot online. One thing I think sure is helpful is to get her a "lovey" from home. But do have some back-ups. Like if you get a stuffy animal, make sure you buy more than one for the baby, because the first one needs to be occasionally taken away for cleaning up, and occasionally you might forget or lose it. Another thing is "routine". I do not know about your baby, my two kids are the same in this respect. They love routine. Do the same thing every morning at drop off, tell him you will leave, but just temporily, re-assure him that you will come back in the afternoon, then after a kiss, leave no matter what. I know sometimes it is easy to say. I had some experience when I hesitated after hearing her(him) starting to cry and looked back, it only resulted in more crying for the baby. One more tip is to play peek-a-boo at home with the baby whenever you have a chance, like changing clothes(diaper), getting food for him, etc, you either turn away or hide your face and then come back into his sight with "see, mommy is back!".
It is a normal stage that kids will outgrow, but it takes time. For my daughter, she is a "clingy" and sensitive kid, therefore, it took her almost 3 years to finally be able to see mommy off happily. But still, very occasionally, she loses her tears when the routine is broken, like when my husband has to drop her off, and he does not do exactly what i do. For my son, he began daycare at 5 months old, and was OK until he was 10 months old. I was more experienced and did my best to keep it the same every morning---put him on the floor, find a toy he's interested, tell him i am going but will come back, kiss and then leave without looking back. He got better in a month(at the same time, he was switched to a new center because we moved), now usually he is OK and clearly aware that i will leave(he even waves bye before I say anything sometimes.) Now he is 16 months old.
Generally speaking i do think boys are better in this respect than girls. Hope you have good luck!
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